Of Dungbombs and Crumple Horned Snorkacks
by Mokusan
Summary: A notorious Gryffindor prankster a crazy Ravenclaw loon. Sometimes love is found in the strangest places. FredLuna
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I own nadda. What did you expect? Jo?**

**A/N: This was rather interesting to write, and I hope it turns into something a lot of people can enjoy. I haven't run across a fic quite like this yet, so I'm guessing this ship is one of a kind.**

**Chapter One: The Prankster (Fred's POV)**

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Luna Lovegood, fourth year Ravenclaw, had to be the strangest person I knew.

And that's saying something. But it's true. This is after throwing Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, even Harry Potter, along with the rest of the student body and staff of Hogwarts and anyone I had ever met into the mix. She was definantly a strange one.

My name is Fred Weasley, by the way. And this is the story of how I feel head-over-heels for Loony Lovegood.

It all started back in September, the beginning of my seventh and final year of Hogwarts. I had just boarded the train with my brother, twin, and fellow prankster, George Weasley, whom might I say, was devilishly handsome. Anyway, we had shoved our trunks under the seats in an empty compartment, and headed back to the door to give one last goodbye to Mum. We werealmost to the door when I saw her.

Her hair was wrapped up in a bun on top of her head, a few strands falling loosely around her face. Her robes sleeves were rolled up, and a Ravenclaw scarf and untied tie hung loosely around her neck. She had large blue eyes, which, at the time, were clenched tight as she stuggled to pull her trunk onto the train. The only problem was that the trunk was snagged on something in the doorway and wouldn't come loose.

I now recognized her as Luna Lovegood. The only reason I had identified her was because of the passing students shouting out taunts of how Loony Lovegood would miss the train if her crumpled horned snorklacks didn't help her out. I frowned, something inside me making my stomach turn. I didn't like people calling her names for some reason. At least when George and I teased it was all in good fun. This... this wasn't ok.

"C'mon, Fred," George said as we neared the door. "Or we'll miss Mum's ritual lecture."

"Oy, I'm coming, I'm coming," I called as I veered to the right and made a bee line for Luna. "Need some help?" She looked up at me, opening her eyes, and just blinked. "Er..." I was starting to feel rather stupid. I thought maybe I should have just turned around and went back to George before anyone noticed my ears had flushed red, or that I had just spoken to Loony Lovegood.

"You want to help me?" She asked, her voice calm and soft, like she was off in some day dream, and not really talking to me.

"Well... yeah, I guess," I answered, scratching my head. "You do need help, don't you?"

"I can't get my trunk onto the train," Luna replied in that same dreamland tone.

"I noticed." I hopped off the train, in time to hear Mum asking George where I had skivved off to, and bent down to pick up the end of Luna's roughed up trunk. Unfortunately, that's when Marcus Flint decided to rear his ugly head. Literally. He approached with his cronies, which surprisingly looked better than he did, and instead of politely asking me to move like any normal wizard would, he kicked me like some muggle football.

Let me tell you, that hurt. Flint might have been ugly, but he had good aim, and he was pretty big. And strong. So yeah, it did hurt. Anyway, once I finished lying on the ground in shock, I picked myself up and brushed off my robes.

"Good to see you too, Flint," I replied with a grin. "I trust your summer was enjoyable?"

"What are you doing helping out Loony Lovegood, Weasley?" Flint spat. His expression didn't make his face any easier to look at, let me tell you.

"Since when is it a crime to help someone, Flint?" I asked, arching a brow.

"And here I thought you couldn't go lower than dirt," Flint growled, shoving me again. I stumbled backward, sure that if my face wasn't red in embarrassment, it was probably crimson with anger.

"Only you would know," I growled, pushing him back. All I do is try to be nice and help someone, and this is the thanks I get?

"What did you say Weasley?" He now had me shoved against the train.

"You heard me," I replied sarcastically. Then I raised my knee and hit Flint where the sun don't shine. He cringed as I wriggled away, grinning, in spite of shiner ringing my right eye. The slimy Slytherin waddled away, and I lifted the bottom of Luna's trunk, and together we managed to get it all the way on board. I jumped in after it, and she looked up at me, a slight smile on her face.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"No problem," I answered. "Er... It's Luna, right?" She nodded. "Ok. I'm-"

"Fred. Weasley," she said, catching me off guard. No one could tell me and George apart.

"Lucky guess," I muttered, turning to head down the hall.

"I wasn't guessing." I turned around just as she and her trunk disappeared into an empty compartment. Shaking my head, I continued down the corridor to George, who gave me an exasperated look.

"Where _were_ you!" He exclaimed. "I had to make up some excuse for _Mum_. You know how hard that is!"

"Sorry," I said weakly. "Ran into Flint."

"I can see that," he muttered. "Come on. Lee, Ange, Katie, and Leesh are waitin' for us." We slid into our compartment, and just like I expect, were pounded with questions, most of which were about my black eye, and where I had been. Well. No one would have trouble telling us apart for now, anyway.

The rest of the train ride was pretty boring. Lee and George attempted a game of exploading snap once we had discussed our summer, and Ange, Katie and Leesh had some 'girl talk'. For once I was bored on the way to Hogwarts. My right eye hurt, and my bottom was somewhat sore from being knocked over. I couldn't concentrate (not that there was much to concentrate on), and I didn't have the heart at the moment to start scheming for our beginning-of-term shebang we always pulled.

It seemed Loony Lovegood had taken up room and board in the not-so-sane corners of my mind.


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer-** **If you seriously think I'm Jo, you have issues. Black.**

**A/N- Rather bland chapter; I don't like it. But yes, this fic has made its return, due to the prodding of a good friend of mine. So, this is for Beeeper, though she'll probably never see this note. xD Anyway, enjoy. Next chapter will be up when I get it done, of course.**

**Note- I'm switching POVs, so it'll be Fred/Third/Luna/Fred/Third/Luna/Etc.**

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He ran a hand through his wet hair, making it stand on end as he let out a large, sleepy yawn. A fire crackled and hissed in the hearth, casting an orange light about the common room. He sat sideways in one of the large, red chairs, legs hanging over one arm of the chair, he head resting on the other. The common room was fairly empty, most of the first years checking out the dormitory, the older students heading up for sleep before the first day of class or lounging about, quietly conversing with friends. For once Fred didn't mind having the only sound being low voices, drifting across the room toward him as his eyes lay partly closed, giving a half-hearted attempt to ward off sleep. It seemed George, however, felt otherwise about a bit of peace and quiet.

"Gerrof!" Fred growled, attempting to shove George away, the latter of which had sauntered over and taken a seat on his brother's stomach. But George didn't budge.

"Not until you tell me who it was," George replied in a sing-song voice. He kicked his legs against the bottom of the chair as Fred struggled beneath him.

"I can't breathe!" Fred protested, banging his fists against George in a futile attempt to get him to move. A feeling of panic swelled up inside him; did George know he fancied Luna? "What the hell are you talking about?" No, it couldn't be.

"I know there's someone..." Or maybe it could.

"George, either tell me what in the name of Zonko's you're talking about or _get off me!_" By now other students had become wary of the commotion, slowly making trips in twos and threes up the dormitory stairs.

"You know, on the train." George leaned back, resting his elbows on the back of the chair. Fred froze in his pummeling of George's stomach just long enough for George's smile to grow. "_Hah!_ I _knew_ it!"

"There's _nothing_ to _know_," Fred replied, returning to his onslaught.

"Who was it?"

"There wasn't anyone!"

"All right... Who _is_ it, then?"

"Nobody then, nobody now!"

"Denial will get you nowhere. I'm your brother - I know these things." Which was true.

"George, would I hide anything from you?" George considered this, rubbing his chin as Fred attempted to squirm his way out from beneath him.

"Well, no, I suppose not." He lept to his feet, brushing off the front of his robes, Fred collapsing back in his chair, taking deep breaths. "Though from the way you were acting, I could have sworn you'd pranked someone without me." Fred blinked, staring at his twin with a half incredulous look. _That's_ what this entire struggling conversation had been about? _Pranking_ someone? Fred could've slapped himself for being so stupid. Of course George would think that; after all, it was the only logical explanation to his quiet behavior on the train.

"Without you? Never." Fred grinned, George doing so in return as he headed for the stairs.

"All right," he answered with a shrug, waving his hand behind him as he hit the bottom of the staircase. "But next time just admit you fancy Lovegood, Fred. It's not that hard to figure out." Fred catapulted from his lazed spot by the fire, dashing up the stairs and bursting into the dorm room he shared with George and Lee.

"I do _not_ fancy Lovegood!" he cried, eyes wide as he stared at George. The latter stared blankly back at him, though Fred didn't missed the amused twinkle glinting in his eye, almost abnormal in his unusually expressionless facade. There was a burst of laughter from the other side of the room, closely followed by a thump as Lee fell off the side of his bed, bare feet just visible above the edge of his scarlet sheets.

"No one said you did, Fred," George stated, a light snicker in his voice as he sprouted a grin.

"You did," Fred said wildly, waving his arms and ignoring Lee's cackle. "On the stairs! Remember? You were talking about the train, and then... And then..." He scowled, realizing his brother had set this up to get revenge. Obviously someone thought Fred _had_ been busy pranking someone without him, and randomly chose Luna in his scheme. Randomly. Coincidence. Things like that happened, right? Right. Nothing to worry about.

"And you... And you actually-" Lee erupted into another fit of laughter as Fred's ears turned pink. George soon joined in, falling back on his bed. The jounce caused several books to tumble to the floor, though he hardly seemed to notice.

"Whatever," Fred growled, marching over to his own bed. "I'm going to sleep." He quickly changed, hopping beneath the sheets. Before long the room was filled only by the rustling of sheets and the light clacking as George stacked his books on his trunk, though that too lapsed into silence as the minutes dragged on. On the verge of sleep, Fred was startled awake by a light crow of 'Loony Lovegood' from George which, as intended, made Lee fall into yet another fit of not-so-silent laughter. Turning over so his back faced his brother, Fred screwed his eyes shut and forced himself to sleep.

---

The following morning found Fred in a considerably good mood as the trio tromped down to the Great Hall for breakfast, for once robes pressed and clean and ties straight as they always were at the beginning, and only the beginning, of the year. Fred's happiness was hardly surprising considering his usual mood, though in this case it was oddly inspired by Lee, who against his will was sporting neon green dreadlocks instead of the usual brown. Quite unpleased, Lee believed he had the perfect excuse to hex Fred into the next century despite the fact that the latter would not admit to committing said crime. George, on the other hand, denied any participation in the act and so Lee was left to suffer in the merciless hands of Hogwarts school gossip.

As they approached the table, Katie was the first to spot them, nearly choking on her pumpkin juice as he snorted in amusement. Concerned, Angelina and Alicia looked up as well, forgetting all about Katie once their eyes landed on the green blob working its way through the crowd toward them. As they arrived at the table, Lee took up a piece of toast, savagely ripping into it as he glared at the table. Fred and George greeted the girls, acting as if there was nothing strange at all this fine and beautiful morning.

"What happened to your hair?" Angelina asked after calming down some.

"Fred," Lee replied shortly, taking another tear off his rapidly vanishing toast. "Won't admit it, of course."

"Because I didn't _do_ anything," Fred objected through a mouthful of eggs. He swallowed and grinned, leaning toward George with a hand in front of his mouth. "Permanent, anyway."

"You'll live, Lee," George comforted, shoving a sausage link into his mouth. "Besides, me and Fred have gone to class with _flashing_ neon hair and lived. I think you will two."

"Yeah, but you two make fools of yourselves just because you can," Katie argued, pointing her fork at the twins for emphasis.

"Point taken," Fred nodded, clearing off the last of his scrambled eggs. "But it's not like Lee hasn't had worse. Last time you thought we put a spider in your bed, you-"

"Sod off, you git," Lee growled, throwing a muffin at Fred. It bounced off his plate and into his goblet of orange juice. The latter wrinkled his nose, standing up and stretching his arms over his head.

"I'm gonna go," he said, turning and heading for the doors.

"You don't have your schedule yet," Alicia chided.

"I'll get it from George," Fred replied, waving his hand behind him and slipping into the crowd of Ravenclaws attempting to get through the door at the same time. It was a tight squeeze but Fred managed to get through, bumping heads with someone else on the way out. Wincing and gingerly rubbing his sore head, he peered around the hall for the person he had bumped. Seeing no one, he shrugged it off. That is, until he nearly ran over Luna. She was rubbing her own head, a scowl twisting her lips as she peered up at him with wide, blue eyes. "Er..."

"Hello, Fred," she greeted with a dream-like smile, lowering her hand to her side. "Lovely running into you. Where are you going?"

"'Ello, Luna," he replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Uh... Well, nowhere in particular, I guess..."

"Well, you have to be going somewhere, don't you? That is, if you're going anywhere at all. Otherwise you'd just be standing there, and even though that's what you're doing right now, I don't think you mean to." Somehow, that all made perfect sense to Fred.

"I get what you mean," Fred replied with a grin. He set off down the hall, Luna walking beside him. Her wand was tucked behind her ear again, the bottle cap necklace still hanging around her neck, tie lopsided and _Quibbler_ in hand. "Hey, why do you like that magazine so much, anyway?"

"My father is the editor."

"Really? Cool," he said, shifting his blue eyes from her to look down the hall. He didn't really think it was cool. Then again, he didn't particularly care about Luna's father at the moment, or the _Quibbler_. But Luna read it...

"You're doing it," she said stiffly, shifting her large, blue eyes to look up at him.

"Doing what?"

"Lying."

"Oh. Right. Sorry," he winced, looking away. "Look.. Uh, Luna, do you-Luna?" Fred stopped walking, looking around the corridor. A few students milled by, transfiguration books clutched tightly in their hands, but other than that Luna was nowhere to be seen.

"Oy, Fred!" George and the still-vibrant Lee coming toward him, schedules in hand.

"What've we got first?" Fred asked, snatching his schedule from George without waiting for an answer.

"You've got potions. Leesh still has me in muggle studies," Lee groaned, wrinkling his nose at the piece of paper he clutched in his hand.

"Joy," Fred moaned, slouching off down the corridor for the common room. They'd need their books and cauldrons for class. Not that Snape would like them anymore; his loathe for them was almost as great as the similar feeling he reserved for Harry.

"By the way, Fred, why were you talking to Luna when you were talking to yourself?" George asked, curiosity lighting up what had been a rather bland expression.

"What?" Fred blinked.

"And I quote 'Luna, do you-Luna?'."

"Practicing for a play," Fred muttered, ears turning pink.

"But you're not in a play," George began. Fred, however, had already turned the corner and out of sight.


End file.
